So, you have been given the role of Maid of Honor for a friend or family member’s wedding? You are probably stressing over how to write the Maid of Honor speech and the best way to approach it. Don’t fret, this role seems much more intimidating than it actually is! Whether you are great at public speaking or more on the shy side, use these tips to help you write the perfect Maid of Honor speech .
There are no hard and fast rules to write a maid of honor speech. This makes things easier for you, as you can make it your own and have fun—be as creative, silly, funny, or heartfelt as you like. The best speeches come from a place of authenticity, so just be yourself! The sooner you start writing your speech, the better. It’ll give you time to reflect on your friendship, decide what your message will be, and come up with the best stories.
Start by brainstorming memories and feelings linked to what you and your best friend have lived together. If you need extra help to get inspired, make a playlist or go through your photos to find funny, interesting anecdotes to include. What you want to do is tell the story of your friendship with one or two key anecdotes that reflect her best traits and show what makes her such a great BFF. Set aside 20-30 minutes to jot down and all ideas that come up.
With all these ideas on paper, it’s time to give your speech some structure. Then, start from the beginning—from the time you meet your BFF to her present and future as she embarks on her new adventure.
Here’s one way to structure your speech:
- Introduce yourself. Letting people know your name and your relationship with the bride gives other guests more context about your speech.
- Focus on the bride. Here’s where you include your stories from your friendship. Make sure your story has a point, though. For example, if you love how kind your friend is, don’t just say it—tell a meaningful story to show how she exercises kindness to her friends.
- Focus on the groom. What’s the best thing about him? What does your friend like the most about him? Tell a story of what he does for her that shows some of his qualities.
- Talk about the couple. How did the bride and bridegroom meet? As her best friend, you probably knew before anyone else when she found out he was The One. What was that moment like?
- A word of advice. Share some wisdom with the couple, or wish them the best in their future together. You could also read a short poem, a quote, or even the lyrics to a song.
- End with a toast!
Let’s review each of these below:
“Where Do I begin?”
The introduction to your Maid of Honor speech can make or break you. Lead with something that will make sure that you start off feeling comfortable. The more comfortable you are from the start, the smoother the speech will likely go. Keep it simple!
- Introduce yourself. Tell everyone your name and your relationship with the Bride.
- Do not feel obligated to replicate the Best Man speech. Most Best Man speeches lead in with a joke. The last thing you want to do is lead in with a joke that doesn’t get the reaction you expected, which can leave you feeling awkward and uncomfortable for the remainder of the speech. Lead in with more of a heartfelt story or memory that you and the Bride shared.
- Always start with the Bride. After all, this day is all about her and she is the one who gave this huge honor. Compliment her, tell how much she means to you, make her feel SPECIAL!
Talk About Your Feelings About Their Relationship
If you have been assigned the Maid of Honor, there is a reason for it. Whether you are a close family member or a best friend, she must think highly of you to have giving you this honor. When you are this close with someone you most likely enjoy seeing them happy and so in love.
- Talk about how deserving she is of such a wonderful love.
- Speak directly to the Groom. Tell him how lucky he is to be marrying such a wonderful person who means so much to you.
- Tell the Bride how happy you are for her that she found the love of her life.
- Recall the memory you have when you found out the Bride was officially engaged. What did she say? What was her reaction? How did she (and you) feel?
Throw The Groom Some Compliments
It’s no secret that a wedding is usually all about the Bride. However, as the Maid of Honor, you should definitely throw the Groom some compliments. After all, this is the man that someone so close to you is giving her hand in marriage to. That’s kind of a big deal!
- When did you meet him? What were your initial thoughts about him? What was your first impression of him?
- What do you feel makes him a perfect match for the Bride?
- Don’t be afraid to throw a joke or two out about some of his quirks. Just make sure you do in a light hearted manner.
- Most of all, thank him for loving the Bride the way that he does.
Give Them Friendly Advice
As the Maid of Honor, you obviously want their marriage to be a happy and successful one. Be sure to include some words of advice in your Maid of Honor speech.
- Remind them to always love one another, even through struggles.
- Remind them to never go to bed mad at one another.
- Feel free to throw in some inspirational quotes that are positive for their relationship.
Compliment The Bride’s Family
Let’s face it, the Bride wouldn’t even be here without her parents. This is a big day for them as well! They are basically giving away their baby girl. Be sure to include them in your Maid of Honor speech.
- Share any memories you have with the Bride’s parents.
- Speak about what a wonderful daughter they raised.
- Talk about what a great job they did at making sure this day turned out to be amazing for their baby girl. Because chances are, they invested a lot of time and money!
Once you have addressed the Bride, Groom, and other family members, it’s time to end the Maid of Honor Speech with a toast to the guests!
This can end as simply with “Cheers to the Bride and Groom!”
It can really end that simple. You’re job is here is done!
Common Mistakes and Things to Avoid
While there are no rules to write your maid of honor speech, you’ll want to avoid the following to prevent uncomfortable situations.
Don’t Make it too long
Yes, you might have a lot of lovely things to say about your friend, but chances are you’re not the only one to give a speech, so keep it around 5 minutes. A longer speech will lose people’s attention.
Avoid Private jokes
They might be funny for you and your friend, but if nobody else shares the background of your speech won’t have the same impact. Avoid alienating the rest of the guests by telling stories anyone can understand, with little to no context.
Avoid (overly) Embarrassing Stuff
Keep the NSFW stories for the bachelorette party and make your maid of honor speech PG. On the wedding day, don’t talk about exes, drunken excesses, and inappropriate jokes. If it’s not something you’d like your friend’s grandmother to hear, don’t use it in your speech.
Don’t Try Too Hard To Be Funny
If comedy is your strong suit, go for it! However, don’t feel obliged to make a funny speech if jokes are not your forte. It’s alright to make a sweet, heartfelt, or even more serious speech if that’s more in tune with your personality. Your friend chose you as a maid of honor for a reason.
The most important thing about your maid of honor speech is authenticity. Show your genuine feelings of love for your bestie and the joy you find in her happiness, and it’ll be a speech she’ll remember forever.
Don’t Overthink It
If you feel yourself feeling overwhelmed when it comes to writing a great Maid of Honor speech, keep in mind… don’t overthink it! Keep it heartfelt at times, but don’t be afraid to throw in a few humorous memories of both the Bride and Groom. Speak from the heart. And if you are afraid of public speaking and it makes you nervous, just keep your eyes on the Bride at all times.
Behind every bride-to-be, there is a maid of honor. And behind every maid of honor, there are a few secrets. The maid of honor typically knows the bride better than anyone else, and this more intimate knowledge makes her speech so special. The maid of honor speech is one the most difficult ones to give because there are so many things you’ll want to say, but not everything will fit into a 5-minute speech. Take your time, enjoy the moment, and don’t feel too much pressure. At the end of the day, as long as it comes from the heart, your friend, the bride, will be happy with it!